Random Thoughts

It was on toward 0830 when I was awakened by the silence of a flood of dismal gray through the partially opened blind slats. I grabbed hold of my ears and heaved myself out of bed. If a coroner had examined me about then, he (or she) would have determined I was in full rigor. My head hurt bad enough to make me wish I could lay it off to Captain Morgan putting the boots to me. Unfortunately, Captain Morgan jumped ship and was last seen having hot monkey sex with a couple of nubile, tropical island girls. There is probably an island or two in Manitoba, but I'm doubting they are tropical.

I showered most of the rigor out of my poor,old, well-used body. Damn near had a heart attack while I was brushing the snarls out of my too-long hair. I made the mistake of taking a peek into the mirror. It was glaringly obvious I hadn't gotten my beauty sleep.

Sitting on the red couch that Satan uses to torture the unrepentant (guess that would be me), I began the almost painless process of transfusing my system with liters of Kat's spoon-melting caffeine concoction. When the unsweetened, undiluted, acidic rich blend of foul water and Columbia's finest legal export hit my stomach, it was like the kiss of an atomic angel.

It was a tad, maybe a couple of tads, past 0910 when my brain started to function. Perhaps “function” isn't exactly the right word. It would be more accurate to say it jump started a couple of the synapses. Can't say with any truthfulness that that is a good thing so early in the day; especially with all that gray filling the room. It sort of allowed a barrage of random thoughts to assail the door to the room where my sanity is stored. That isn't a good thing. A person is only issued so much sanity and when it's gone, well, it's gone. Who knows what will happen once it's depleted. Hell, you might turn out to be a Republican; or even worse, a Republican politician.

Have you ever wondered how companies that claim they can't afford to pay their rank and file employees a livable wage while, at the same time, paying their executives millions of dollars in salary, benefits, and stock options is a good thing?

I heard from a reliable source that by the time my Dad died, he was begging for death. In one way, I'm glad that I was in Nam when it happened. I'd rather remember him the way he was, rather than the pain filled, 100 pound skeleton he became. A terminal person shouldn't be forced to endure untold agony that can't be relieved. They shouldn't be cursed with a death completely without dignity. Opponents often say that the suffering is part of man's lot and to end it ahead of god's time is a sin. If suffering is man's lot, I wonder if they reach for a pain reliever when they hurt.

Do you think it would be possible, even with a library full of proof, for President Obama to prove to his rabid detractors' satisfaction that he is indeed an American citizen and that he is not a Muslim or a socialist bent on destroying the country?

Isn't sending the same troops on multiple deployments to the same war zone a bizarre way for our leaders to show they support and care for the troops?

I've heard certain quarters criticizing President Obama for taking five days to appear at Ft. Hood while former President and Mrs. Bush made a more immediate visit. I'm thinking back to Hurricane Katrina as I try to remember when the former president put his feet on the ground of Big Easy. Hmmm.

Did you ever wonder why women, other than exes, are such gorgeous, delightful life forms? As far as that goes, how does a gorgeous, delightful woman morph into a harridan from hell when she becomes an ex.

Why, in a '96 Plymouth Grand Voyager, did they put the access panel to the turn signals in the freakin' wheel well?

I need an Aleve. Those darned synapses have my head hurting.

Life is sweet – maybe because there is an end to everything.