The noonday sun, bent through openings in the cloud-filled sky, greedily gobbled the sparkling morning dew that blanketed the badly-in-need-of-mowing lawn. A bevy of sweat bees buzzed near their nest hidden behind the siding on the house. Overnight, a platoon of ground spiders decorated the grass with webs about the size of a coffee coaster and the tomato plants have grown another three inches. The sound of ambitious lawn mowers at work tried to make me feel guilty at my sloth.
A gray, late model, Dodge pickup backs part way into the lane. The across-the-lane neighbor, who is an appliance repairman, pushes a yellow, two-wheeled, cart out from behind a shed. He isn’t satisfied with where the truck is parked. He said something to the driver of the truck that was indistinguishable, but sounded like instructions. The truck doesn’t move. A woman dressed in the garb of a Holdemann gets out of the vehicle to allow him to back it up himself.
He climbed, more or less nimbly, into the bed of the truck and pushed a white clothes drier onto the tailgate. She had to help him lift it to the ground.
It is Saturday morning in Friendly Manitoba.
What seems like a few days ago, I mentioned Random House, based on the fear of a violent reaction from the Muslim community, decided not to distribute “The Jewel of Medina,” a novel by Sherry Jones about the favorite wife of Muhammad. Beaufort Books picked up the title. They are the same publisher that published O.J. Simpson’s “If I Did It.”
I got a kick out of this one. Neighbors called the cops when they heard screams of “help me, help me” coming out of a house. Cops showed up, couldn’t get anyone to the door, so they kicked it. Turned out it was a parrot. I wonder if they tased it.
Did you hear about the ol’ boy down in Texas? He was carrying a knife and a ball bat when he rolled into a convenience store. He beat the cash register severely about the head and shoulders until it opened. It wasn’t money he wanted. He grabbed 10 boxes of condoms and an energy drink, then beat feet … beat wheels, I should have said. I guess he had some serious business to take care of, but knew he was going to need an energy boost to get it done.
It isn’t an order, but feel free to enjoy the weekend if you wish.
Life is sweet – when you’re not a Republican.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Feel Free
Posted by Buffalo at 1:05 PM
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14 comments:
Embrace your sloth: I still haven't ever once mowed the lawn this summer and I'm not going to.
Feels good -- don't know why, just does.
Well at least the guy takes safe sex so seriously.
I probably would've just dunked my donut in a steaming cup of acid, as opposed to getting dressed and having to tie shoes, get some sort of decent-like clothing on, gather my weapons and drive to the nearest 7-11.
Hmmmm . . . I wonder. After all that, was he even still in the mood?
And free I feel!
"I wonder if they tased it."
I wonder if they paid for the door repair?
RE: condoms. I wonder if there's a black market for them?
What the heck is a Holdemann?
By the way, I thought life was good even when I was a Republican.
elspeth: Sloth is often my best bud.
whirl: It would be interesting to know what someone was thinking just before they did something that was obviously ill-advised. For myself, I rarely think. It's more of an action that takes place between thoughts.
Paul: That is one of the best feeling of all.
JS: I doubt they paid for it. If it was an expensive bird, I'm wondering how parrot stew tastes.
Holdemann is a sort of Mennonite sect. (Hope I didn't misspell it.)
I suspect the good feeling was a delusion to cover up deep-seated alienation emotions.
Poor author.
Life is sweeter when you are a Republican. Not so smeary, you know.
Sweet? I would have believed sanctimonious, closed. Sweet I'm having a difficult time conceptualizing.
Try Splenda.
Whirl: I like the pink stuff better. Sweet and Low?
Not all Republicans fall into the stereotype built by Dems, like not all Dems fall into the type built by Reps. Otherwise I'd consider your comment condescending and arrogant, and I don't.:-)
Lili: You're correct - which is why labels are so limiting and judgmental.
I hope I don't come across as either condescending or arrogant. In retrospect I see how the Republican remark could be taken as something other than humor which it was intended as.
No, that wasn't condescending; you were simply saying you prefer being a Democrat. That's cool. And yes, I do consider you a Democrat, not an Independent.
I do get tired though of the wrong labels both sides slap on the other, even here. Some bits fit some people, but certainly can't be applied to everyone. Applying a snug stereotype to everyone associated with a party is just lazy thinking.
Lili: Believe it or not - I've never been a registered Democrat. I have never voted a straight party ticket. I have been registered as a Libertarian and a Republican. Different times of course.
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